Nothing good comes from comfort zones, say Sara Hickman and Rhi Baxter at the We Are BRAVE training consultancy
We’re sure you’ve heard that one before. Many people talk about the Zone of Genius being the place where we get our inspiration and biggest personal growth, unfortunately that place is not in our comfort zone.
We at the We Are BRAVE training consultancy want you to ask yourselves a big question.
‘Be honest – have you been hiding in your comfort zone?’
Take a moment. Think hard. When did you last do something that made you step out of what feels comfortable?
We mean when it felt really uncomfortable, when it gave you that sinking feeling in your stomach, the jittery nerves or butterflies… sounds horrible but it’s actually a pre-cursor to personal growth.
When we feel uncomfortable our body creates a natural response. It screams at us to run back to the relative safety of the comfort zone and just carry on doing what we know.
There’s an issue here. You won’t grow. You won’t change and you certainly won’t learn anything new.
Comfort zones are great for some of the time because we get a feeling of stability and safety. Hugely valuable. The flip side is without stretch or challenge stagnation can set in quickly. Whilst comfort zones might work in the short term in the long run it’s not always a great personal strategy. Doing something new, different and perhaps even risky is simply a part of the world we work in today and without the skill and courage to take the leap we can miss out on those opportunities for growth.
Here are three Simple Steps to boost your confidence
Step 1: Acknowledge & revisit those excuses
Spend a little time looking back at the reasons and excuses you’ve given to stay in your safe place. ‘I don’t have time’ ‘It might go wrong’ ‘I might look silly’ ‘ I don’t want to upset anyone’ ‘I don’t want to stick my neck out’.
Sound familiar?
It’s OK to acknowledge those excuses, they probably worked for you in the past. Now, do a reality check. Would you accept these excuses in other situations? If your friend said them would you offer some perspective? Would you encourage them to try something new? Would you give them some benefits?
Often when we look back, we realise we’ve fallen into habits and as the saying goes ‘if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got’
Identify which of those excuses are out of date and need a bit of a talking to. Talk to yourself in the same way as you’d speak to a good friend: be kind, be encouraging and be firm. Offer support and challenge in equal measure.
Step 2: Don’t make one giant leap…try a smaller step first.
Once you’ve checked in with those excuses think about how you can identify some small personal steps.
It can feel way too intimidating to step outside the zone of safety and make a giant leap. We get it, sometimes the risks outweigh the perceived benefit.
How about this, identify where you have felt more comfortable to stretch yourself (let’s call it Situation A) and then steal a little bit of that confidence for this new situation (let’s call it Situation B).
Write down some specifics in these three areas:
1. THINK: How do you prepare or think about Situation A: what is the inner dialogue?
2. FEEL: Pay attention to the feelings you get in Situation A: what labels do you give those feelings eg: excited vs. nervous. They often feel the same but we label them differently in different situations.
3. DO: Get specific: what are your routines, what do you say, what’s your body language, do you ask great questions or are you good at some small talk up front to ease nerves?
Once we get specific then we can take a small step in Situation B by repeating some of what we know do well. No leaping just testing the water to see how it could be worth the risk.
Help your brain identify these specifics and then it will find this risk a little easier. Your brain will start to work for you rather than telling you to run back to your comfort zone!
Step 3: Bite the proverbial bullet…just do it!
You’ve acknowledged your excuses and you’ve given your brain a few useful examples to think about which means Step 3 is coming…
For you to really step outside your comfort zone you have to do it even if it’s uncomfortable. And trust us, it will be and that’s OK! You need to dig deep and put some steps in place to force you to take the plunge.
Let’s say you are terrified of talking in front of others (there’s millions that do!).
Think back to all those excuses and acknowledge them, identify a small step then bite the bullet and volunteer to share an easier section of next month’s results at the team meeting. A step with lower risk and lower chance of scaring you if it doesn’t work out.
And here’s the final hook: once you’ve done it, revisit Step 2 and write down some more specifics so you can remind your brain next time of what you did and how you felt.
Those are our three simple steps. They’re simple but we acknowledge they’re not always easy. Everyone has to start somewhere and as the saying goes, nothing good comes from comfort zones.
You can learn more about a whole host of topics and thought leadership on the We Are Brave LinkedIn page or website.
