Continuing our wellbeing series with mental health specialist Patrick Melville. In this article, Patrick provides insights into how we let our environment control us and how to gain control yourself for better mental health outcomes.
“Control” is a strong word. Say it out loud and see how the hard syllables add to the tone and meaning of the word. Control plays a central role in a paraplanner’s day in both positive and negative ways. When you are in control of a meeting agenda you can feel more confident and certain, yet when your adviser is in charge your certainty and confidence can be affected.
It is important to understand the role of control in mental health and how to use it to manage daily stress and worries. The key is to focus on what you can control.
A good example is driving. Have you ever noticed, when driving, how you react to situations that occur outside of your car and your control? A major crash ahead, heavy rain, or vehicles slowing down to look at an incident… These events are out of your control and yet often you put excessive time and emotion into them, which can create significant mental frustration. Thinking and worrying about the impact of these scenarios can also directly affect our own driving, such as driving too close to the car in front of us.
It is important to realise that focusing on situations that are out of your control can be a waste of time and effort. Consider DVLA Rule 149: “You MUST exercise proper control of your vehicle at all times.” What you can control is your own vehicle by driving it properly. We are trained how to manage our vehicles and we can learn how to react to situations in a ways that enable us to keep ourselves safe.
Time is often critical when it comes to control and that goes for mental health as well as driving. The word “time” was mentioned 35 times in the Professional Paraplanner/MMS survey of paraplanners’ stress levels, as a stress driver. Examples included “busy times”, “timescales” and “time constraints” – frequently situations that appear to be beyond a paraplanner’s control.
A paraplanner focusing on a lack of control may experience feelings of unease and anxiety – such feelings can override the calm and rational approach that a situation demands. It is important to take time and use it in a controllable way. One respondent to the survey suggested the following in response: “meditation, yoga, taking breaks to take a few deep breaths when things feel like they’re spiralling out of control.”
Try setting aside time in your day to focus on what you can control – it will positively impact your mental health. Our mental health survey revealed some interesting results. The word ‘time’ was mentioned 54 times by respondents explaining how they manage stress. Examples included “time out from the computer screen” and “I log off on time every night so that my work doesn’t impact my mood in my free time”.
Exercise caution when it comes to comparing yourself to your colleagues and contacts in terms of how you each make use of your own time. Your mind is your own – it reacts uniquely to other people’s minds and to different scenarios and time pressures.
You might remember the MMS Circle of Strength from article three – your own personal list of ways to manage your stress and maintain performance. Each component gives you an element of control, as shared by one respondent to the survey: “I take time in every day to leave the laptop and take a stroll, ideally outside to refresh my mind” and “use time off to do enjoyable activities”.
You might already have a list that helps to guide you. If you don’t, perhaps begin by revisiting what has and hasn’t worked for you in the past.
Here are some ways to find the time to put into your Circle of Strength from Select Health*:
- Break up your time into short bursts or longer periods.
- Wake up a little earlier. Taking time to spend by yourself and be guided by the items that appear in your Circle of Strength.
- Make time for activities that you enjoy. Exercise from casually stretching the body to harder pushes which can re-focus the mind.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This can be from a work colleague, family member or friend. A problem shared…
- Find time to laugh. Laughter drives positive emotions and can restore rational thinking.
Focus on the things that you can control and you will be able to react more effectively to day-to-day challenges and will be on the path to a positive mindset.
- https://www.gov.uk/guidance/the-highway-code/general-rules-techniques-and-advice-for-all-drivers-and-riders-103-to-158
- selecthealth.org
Find out more about Patrick at these locations:
[email protected]
www.melville-solutions.com
Twitter: @melvsolutions
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/melvillesolutions/
